Iron Man 2

Title: Iron Man 2

Director: Jon Favreau

Written By: Justin Theroux

Starring: Scarlet Johanssen, Don Cheadle, Robert Downey Jr. Mickey Rourke and Gwyneth Paltrow

Tony Stark, Tony Stark? Tony Stark! My Man! If you told Tony Stark to shit gold he’d pull out a diamond encrusted platinum chain from his buttcheeks. The man’s a boy god, who can do everything except stop smelling the tinge of his own excrement. Iron Man 2 catches up with Stark after he saved the world. The world is safe now, apparently and all thanks to Tony Stark. Until Mickey Rourcke in the shape of Ivan Danko enters the frame and makes every single actor in Hollywood look hopelessly mediocre. Danko is a Russian physicist whose out to destroy Stark after Stark’s father destroyed his father. Stark’s life is only further complicated by Danko after he learns that his Iron man suit is actually killing him. Stark is then further inconvenienced by the National Guard who see fit to it to impound he Iron Man suit as they see it to be dangerous and unfit for civilian use. In other words, Stark’s living la vida loca except he’s stinking filth rich which means that like all rich people he has to create problems for himself.

To be honest with you there’s not much more to this film, outside of Downey Jr. and Cheadle almost making out, Scarlett Johanssen giving more wood than the Amazon and Mickey Rourke just being so effing Mickey Rourke and proving that he deserved the Oscar in 09. Outside of that Sam Rockwell makes a few memorable cameos as James Hammer, Samuel L. Jackson gives a shout out and Gwyneth Paltrow reminds us of why we should be afraid of Menopause.

It’s your regular run of the mill blockbuster action flick, except with heightened tones of blatant American patriotism and cultural imperialism as Stark so boldly claims “I keep the world safe” and his I of course refers to the United States of America. Outside of that it’s half decent, but average.

I give it 5 Hoers

The Totem pole ain’t tall enough.

Welcome to the Future!

Title: A Serious Man

Directed by: Ethan and Joel Coen

Written by: Ethan and Joel Coen

Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg ; Richard Kind ; Fred Melamed ; Sari Lennick ; Aaron Wolff

I don’t even know where to start with this one. It’s mind-blowing, tediously slow and shocking brilliant at the same time. The Coen brothers have done it created what just might be their finest piece of work, the only problem is you’ll only know this in about 20 years time. This film is beyond seminal, it’s something out of your great granddaughter’s moleskin.
The narrative centers on the life of Larry Gopnik a Midwestern professor whose life seems to be falling apart in the most typical way possible, the only difference being, Gopnik, unlike other characters in the same mould doesn’t seem to mind and kind of invites all this destruction. Not once does he freak out, bitch, moan or even complain. Instead he’s transported into this surreal Yiddish galaxy where believe it or not people actually believe in God, and believe he can solve every problem they have.
It’s just so absurd, the entire film centers around the idiosyncratic peculiarities of the Minneapolis suburb Bloomington that Gopnik lives in. And it’s a bizarre neighborhood, but only as bizarre as real life can be. The Coen’s continue off where they left us with “Burn after Reading” not confused but scratching at the middle part of our brain only for our skin, skull and neurons to get in the way of us solving this dilemma.
The one thing you can take from this film is that it’s definitely the future if one thing the Coen brothers have shown us time and again is that the traditional narrative film, is becoming a thing of the past and Aristotelian Ideas on story structure are getting chucked out of the window in favour of obese faceless bullies, endless pointless anecdotes and the “His brother’s game”.
You need to see the film to understand these things and highly suggest you go watch it, it’s not brilliant, it’s not amazing, it’s not bad either and it sure sisn;t average. It’s “A serious man” and that is the only thing it can be.

To future welcome the .

I give it 1-10 Hoers.

It ain’t fleeting.

Roo Roo Roo!

It's exams?
Already? It feel like we just started dishing out all those extra steroids days ago.
But ja, like most hookers it sucks.
That being said iDiski World Cup is only days away and the UCT Film Society has promised to bring you every second of this amazing event.
JOLLING! We're not Supersport and SABC are going to do that, we instead are going to throw you some amazing parties.
I'm not going to imbellish too much but let's just say next semester is going to knock your nipples off!

To give you some clues on what the theme of our next gig is here's a little light marsupial entertainment.



Fetal balling and these Cherries keep falling
Roy Mathieu Borole

Shotties 2009: Ticker

Title: Ticker

By: Nadia Davids, Che Mauritz, Nico Gous and Mandla Shoniwa

Synopsis: A man wakes to find he’s discovered colour and Sound, and goes about wreaking havoc and chaos in the process in colour

Enjoy

"So what if she's (an) eleven!"

Title: Kick Ass

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Written by: Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Nick Cage, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Aaron Johnson and Chloe Moretz

“Kick Ass” is a lot like a bag of really good shrooms, at first it does nothing for you and then it disappoints you and then before you know it you’re 6 years old again, lost in your imagination, dead set on the possibility of murdering the local garbage truck with your Karate White belt and tamagochi. It’s amazing. easily the most fantastic film of the year and one of the finest action-comedy’s I’ve ever witnessed. Matthew Vaughn puts together a smorgasbord of pop culture references and high-flying ass kicking violence to create what can only be described as a Masterpiece.

The narrative tells the tale of Kick Ass, played by Dave Lizewski played by Aaron Johnson and his birth into the world of vigilantism. Without the luxuries of social intelligence, super powers, excessive wealth or even revenge, Dave becomes a super hero, out of a sense of responsibility to his fellow man. From here things just get wetter, enter Hit Girl –FYI My future ex-wife- and Big Daddy who align themselves with Kick Ass to fight crime and bring down super crime king pin Frank D’Amico. The adventure speeds up to a pace where you’re no longer thinking but making exploding noises with your mouth and mind.

It’s a seminal flick. Laden with violence, dialogue and characters so fresh that you can only compare it to the entrance into your imagination that Mr. White, Pink and Brown in Reservoir Dogs made. The action scenes are unbelievable, the narrative has awesome linearity, its fantastically colourful and more decorated than Lisa Sparxxx in a U12 boys basketball locker room.

Three thumbs up and champagne sprouting from its nipples, Kick Ass is in this writer’s top 3. If this is the future of cinema then get ready for me to get fat and never get laid, because god damn it, this shit is amazing.
I’m not even going to think about this and give this bad girl
10 Hoers!

Fetal Balling

Roy Mathieu Borole.

Shotties 2008: Consequences of Student Life

Title: Consequences of Student Life
By: David Schilperoot, Tamika Doubell and Jess Fowlds

Synopsis: Comedy! A deep fatual look into the lives of students at UCT and the consequences of striving for liberty, justice, freedom and trying to take a steek home after a night at the jol.

Enjoy.

RAG Floats: The Dummies Experience

In your mouth!

This year's RAG Floats were covered with Extra Steroids, and the good men at Dummies decided to play a starring role. It's epic and filled with delights and naked knights!

Fetal Balling
Mo Money more glows!