Eating Paint.

Title: Killers

Directed By: Robert Luketic

Written by: Bob DeRosa and Ted Griffin

Starring: Ashton Kutcher; Tom Selleck, Katherine Heigel and Usher Raymond IV

Bang average Rom Com Flick with Ashton ‘I was gaining some credibility with Punk’d’ Kutcher. It’s quite a simple narrative focusing around the dogged and oh-so delicate relationship between Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigel) and Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) which has reached the dreaded three year mark. Baby’s, 401K plans and whether or not Jen’s getting her mom’s arms are all in question. It’s pretty damn average the kind of crap no one ever really wants to see unless they’re in an elevator or ate too much popcorn the night before.

In a former life Spencer was a trained assassin and this sends the entire melancholic middle class love tale tits up when he’s reactivated as an agent. Of course 36C Blonde Jen has no clue and upon learning this goes fully menopausal. To add to this tired gimmick is the fact that Jen’s father is played by uber-straight Tom Selleck who’s also a tough-giligitee of some kind and also murders people after breakfast.

Aimes is a badass assassin and everyone knows this and his whole neighborhood of sleeper assassins set out to murder him Jen. Leading a to a series of tired and under-developed action sequences decorated with heated arguments that only Noleen fans find amusing and to put the proverbial cherry on the top Jen’s pregnant and they have to deal with that too.

At a fundamental level it’s about Aimes and Kornfeldt’s marriage and how their anxieties and problems are made comedic, but in reality they have none, and everything is perfect in paradise.

It’s exactly what you expect and less with a poor showing by Robert Luketic who never really gets the comedy or the action down and his only strong point is Catherine O’Hara as Mrs. Kornfeldt, the furiously hilarious alcoholic hell bent on getting as pissed as possible.

I give it 2 Hoers

Borole.