Shotties 2011: "Your Ma Se King Cone"

UCT Film society presents....

A battle of wits ensues between a beligerent Ice Cream vendor and self-centred meat head on the beaches of Clifton.

Directed by: Laylaa Adam
Written by: Laylaa Adam
Cinematography by: Laylaa Adam, Lola Mashabane, Lwando Nteya and Nikola Milosavljevic
Edited by: Nikola Milosavljevic, Laylaa Adam and Lola Mashabane
Starring: Dylan Rademayer and Andrew Badhah, Ashleigh von der Hoven and Abigail De Waal

Malick is black

Brad Pitt and Sean Penn star in Terrence Malick's latest offering the "Tree of life". A coming of age tale set against two different generations and how both struggle through a battle of strengths between a father and son.
It looks breath taking and Malick is easily one of the most eloquent directors alive, so i'm shivering in by UGG boots in anticipation.

Simply the best crazy stupid love

Title: Crazy, stupid, love

Directed By: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

Written by: Dan Fogelman

Starring: Emma Stone, Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore, Marisa Tomei and Ryan Gosling

The story opens with Ron (Carell) and Emily (Moore) a stagnating married couple who are in the midst of getting divorced, Emily’s cheated and broken Ron’s heart and left him with nothing but a size 44 suit when he’s actually a size 42. In walks mercurial lady’s man and tall glass of water Jacob (Gosling) who takes Ron under his wing and promises to make him better, faster, stronger and make his wife rue the day she ever cheated on him. Ron’s metamorphosis begins and in the process a number of new love interests develop including the baby sitter his son secretly has a crush on, a teacher (Tomei) and Hanna (Stone). Ron embarks on his journey of self-improvement which barricaded with comedic instances and a deep seated determination to get his wife back and prove that love really does exist.

Ficarra and Requa give a master class in directing Romantic Comedy and unpack an incredibly complicated love story in a matter of seconds, they don’t butcher Fogelman’s script either, but just let it be. Framing the most delicate moments intricately and allowing the mania of comedy and zest to explode in the same frame.
It’s filled with one million and one “aaah” moments and that tenderness and honesty you need in romantic films which make them believable yet at the same time enviable.

TKO

I give it 10 hoers.

Love these slippers

Grootboom's in Cape Town and he's raising hell and "sneaking some action".
I like it, it's Capetonian, it's 2011, it's funny and it doesn't exhaust my cap.
It's also got people i know or have seen in it.
Watch out for the dance section, classic!

"what you know about my juicy wors?"

Grootboom's at it again and this time he wants you to try his juicy wors....
Love this, and love this guy.
Check it out

Worst film of the year

Title: Captain America: First Avenger

Directed by: Joe Johnston

Written by: Chris Markus and Stephen McFeely

Starring: Hugo Weaving, Chris Evans, Stanley Tucci and Hayley Atweel

Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is a skinny guy with a big heart and an incredibly resilient jaw. In the dark boroughs of World War two he fights against the odds to get enlisted into the US army so he can do his part in defeating the Nazi scum. Armed with Jehovah’s Witness persistence and an undying spirit, chance pairs him up with a drafting and the mysterious somewhat paedophilic Dr. Abrahams Erskine (Stanley Tucci). Erskine and his bad German accent are out to create the ultimate soldier not only physically, but psychologically and mentally and with ass-kicking motor mouth general Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) they set out to find the perfect soldier for their pseudo-science experiment which will result in something comically predictable.

Steve Rogers the perfect candidate fills the role and in a matter of seconds goes from skinny wimp to Joburg Ghei Roid bunny and Captain America. But in the celebrations Erskine is shot and the mysterious formula for Captain America’s creation is lost with him. Setting Captain America on a journey to avenge his friend and doctor, but not before he prances around the USA trying to sell government bonds. But fate and a limited running time sees him travel to Europe in tandem with a bunch of other good hearted men to defeat the imminent HYDRA threat, which is headed by Red Skull the only notable performancve in this shit storm of crappiness by Hugo Weaving.

It’s crap, there’s no two ways about it, from the horrible over stated CGI, to the paper thin narrative, to the 1940’s optimism to the fact that the entire thing is void of any ambiguity to the fact that Chris Evans couldn’t play a convincing douchebage and he is one! Like the horribly average ugly girl with no personality in Biology class, this film’s got noting going for it.

I give it 1 Hoer.

Thrill

Manic mondays mean we're all dragging ass and moaning at the prospect of having to do it all again, in times like these it's good to look to the biggest society at UCT for advice and this what they had to say.

You're on TV, i mean the internet!

Professor Grootboom has been terrorizing the streets of Cape Town with his infectious charm and beautiful brown locks!
And you may have been one of his victims, check out if you made the cut

Bathing planet of the apes!

Title: Rise of the planet of the apes

Directed by: Rupert Wyatt

Written by: Rick Jaffa; Amanda Silver

Starring: Frieda Pinto, James Franco, John Lithgow, Andy Serkis

Monkey’s are terrifying, I don’t care what anyone says and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, proves this more than anything else. It’s the year 2011 and Will Rodman –James Franco- a scientist at Genesys is working on a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, with Apes as his subjects he makes an unbelievable breakthrough and goes to the board of telling them that he’s done it, “Eureka”. Rodman’s palpitations are only increased by the illogical escape of rogue chimpanzee “Blue Eyes” who loses her shit and tries to kill everyone in sight. Rodman is shut down, his cure is shelved and hopes shattered, but there is Hope and it’s name is Caesar –Andy Serkis- , Bright Eye’s son, who has inherited the gene therapy given to her mother and is a super smart chimp, who knows sign, wears clothes and is a badass chess master. All is well in Rodman’s life he meets super hot vet Caroline Arahana – played by Frieda Pinto – and the three of them live a peaceful life in sunny San Francisco. That is until Rodman decides to prematurely administer the experimental drug he was developing on his father and Caesar’s self awareness gets out of control and he starts asking some Mario Balotelliesque questions leading to him swallowing a human finger and being incarcerated. Like Malcolm X, Ruben “The hurricane” Carter and Jacob Zuma, prison only focuses Caesar more and leads him into the beginning of the path to his Ape revolution in his banana republic Slacks.

The CGI in this film is sublime and the motion sequence animation unparalleled, and Frieda Pinto, wow! I mean WOW! Is she hot! James Franco “nyah” and Caesar’s quite a bad mother, but far too many of the primate enclosure scenes read like “Oz” minus the gang-rape.

Wyatt really knocks it out of the park with his ape-to-ape interactions and the show is stolen by the most hideously ugly cute Orangutan! But the Humans are flat, like Amanda Peet Flat.

It’s not gonna change your life, but it will definitely elicit a “Yoh!” from you.

I give it 6 Hoers

Super Good!

Title: Super 8

Directed By: J.J. Abrams

Written By: J.J. Abrams

Starring: Joel Courtney; Kyle Chandler; Elle Fanning; Riley Griffiths

“Super 8” open in the seething lonely cold town of Lillian, Ohio to a broken home, saturated with braces and home video cameras, it’s 1970 something and Joe Lamb [Joel Courtney] has just lost his mother, the caked snow and Nordic blues of Lillian frame Joe’s despair and what will be the film of 2011.
It starts off slow, a band of foul-mouthed misfit filmmakers headed by Charles Kaznyk, a portly tyrant hellbent on winning the local film festival. Summer’s here and Charles with Martin, Cary, Joe and Alice by his side plan on making the film of the decade, and Abrams begins his relentless meta-referencing in this beautiful, nostalgic, perfect film about the pangs of being in 3D and coming of age. A mysterious typically J.J. Abramsesque violent explosive event occurs and starts Joe on a journey of discovery and unbridled courage and bravery all inspired by a beautiful young girl, whose father happens to be his father’s mortal enemy. The gang geared with their Super 8 camera and teenage libido’s embark on the town now in the wake of a cataclysmic train wreck to make their film and do all in their power to get their dicks wet.

It’s spectacular and I’m not referring to the CGI or the flawless Michael Giachinno soundtrack or Larry Fong’s painstaking attention to detail cinematography or the out of this world art direction, I’m talking about everything! The performances are out of this world, the script is perfectly balanced and the big mystery – which Abrams is synonymous for – is so superfluous in comparison to the magnificence of this film that you completely forget about it and get lost in the magic of Joe’s courage and desire for gash.

Like Les Quatre Cents Coups and “Le souffle au cœur” after it “Super 8” is teenage angst and fury wrapped in the most delicate of handkerchiefs growing legs in every direction to touch and mesmerize.

There’s something literary about Super 8, which makes it an immediate comparison to Jean-Paul Sartre’s “words” or Albert Camus “First Man”

All I can say is “Wow!”

J.J. Abrams take a bow

I give it 10 Hoers!

Loving it!

Local based production house ODC is putting together a one of kind off the wall show which has the industry a buzz.... HAhaha the industry.
I've got no clue what it's about, but let's just say it's worth watching just for the protagonists rowing technique ;-)

How to steal two million

Their very few things I’ve been looking forward to quite like “How To steal two million”.

Freshman Transatlantic South African Director Charlie Vundla, makes his screen debut with this action charged, crime drama about an ex-con looking to have one more hit to sort out his life and double cross his double crossing former partner.
With local super producer Mfundi Vundla behind the project and Michelle Wheatley. This promises to be one of the true cinematic gems of the year and the film we’ve all been waiting for.

Watch it!

Hanna Banana!

Title: Hanna

Directed by: Joe Wright

Written by: Seth Lochead, David Farr

Starring: Cate Blanchet, Eric Bana, Saoirse Ronan and Tom Hollander

Hanna in white writing on a red canvas, sums up this film. Frenetic, action packed, sexually charged, and jam-packed with historically out of place references.
Hanna a very special young girl living in the Russian Tundra with her father has been reared from day one to destroy and kill Marissa (CIA Boss). Armed with a former CIA operative as a father and a suspiciously large Adam’s apple, she exhausts her day’s hunting, speaking 6 languages, and learning to kill the average adult male in a matter of seconds.

Her life is thrown into a complete meat spin, when her father informs her that she is ready to kill the infamous and evil Marissa sounding as suspiciously Mission Impossible – and I mean the 80’s one – looking alarm, the CIA learn of her and her father’s whereabouts. From here a projectile of action, repressed sexuality and all out ass-kicking scream across the screen framed by laughably stereotypical German hitmen, clad in knee high boots and armpit hugging acid blue jeans. And Cate Blanchett as the smoky red-headed femme fatale who can kill you with her pencil sharpener, but can’t wear any shoes except heels!

It’s action like it should be, without the unnecessary love bullshit and generally nonsensical plotlines which explain themes and ideas which really make no sense whatsoever.

Hanna will knock your sock off!