Fantastic by name, fantastic by nature!

Title: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Director: Wes Anderson

Writer: Roald Dahl and Wes Anderson

Cast: George Clooney, Merryl Streep, Owen Wilson and Bill Murray

Wes Anderson doesn’t do children, okay he does but the type of kids he does are the type who usually get done by the alcoholic uncle or the super-touchy auntie, So I was skeptical at first, Anderson does light-hearted comedies with deeper meanings brought forth with dry wit, not animated foxes and Roald Dahl But your boy doesn’t disappoint, and the fans after this should still be fans, Anderson brings his idiosyncratic clubs to the course in the form of his trademark humour, distinct style and gang of usual misfits of regulars Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson, and goes to town on this flick.

Parents, however, might not be too thrilled at Anderson’s interpretation of the beloved Roald Dahl book, but they can sit on it and rotate, if they can let their kids grow affectionate towards a camp purple naked dinosaur, then what’s wrong with a Fox which says “Fuck” and wears Marc Jacobs?

George Clooney and Meryl Streep take the reins and allow the usual suspects of Murray and co. to form the filing to this fantastic flick and combine to form an extremely entertaining cast who excellently deliver Anderson’s dry humour. Its witty, charming and touching and I came away wanting to turn around and see it again immediately after I left the cinema.

If you’re looking for something not too serious, but not frivolous either, then go see The Fantastic Mr Fox. It’s good night out that genuinely everyone in the family can enjoy, or even just you by yourself!

7 Hoers!

-Karmen 'Not Robbie's Sister' Wessels

legion-dary... NAAT

Title: Legion
Director: Scott Stewart
Writer: Scott Stewart, Peter Schinck
Cast: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Kevin Durand

What if God grew tired of us? Would he send plagues to wipe us out? He’s done it before to some dudes in the desert. Perhaps just destroy the planet altogether? It only takes seven days to make a new one. Maybe he would sterilise everybody and let us die out. But isn’t that what microwaves are for? There are many simple, logical manners in which he could exterminate us, but Legion, the new film by Scott Stewart, provides us with a different answer. If God got bored with the people he created he would send a legion of angels and mindless zombies to kill us all one by one. Quick, straightforward, rational thinking really… Nice one God.

Ten things I learned from Legion:

1. You can’t shoot through angel wings

2. Neck-biting undead, soulless people are also in the employ of the loving, caring Creator

3. Angel’s aren’t pretty – especially Gabriel

4. Don’t fuck with wall climbing grannies – they will bite you to shit

5. Inside of all of us is a bubbling acid that burns through anything – therefore if somebody is about to explode, take cover

6. Dennis Quaid’s career is in a worse state than I thought

7. Smoking when you’re pregnant doesn’t harm your baby, in fact, it makes it the chosen one

8. My mother was right - Ice-cream truck drivers ARE creepy and sinister

9. Trust big, creepy strangers who carry guns, they’re nice people

10. If you want to write a script and have a feature film made from it, you don’t have to worry about the tedious details of explaining what’s happening or even tying the knots together at the end. Just leave countless questions unanswered, at the end of the day it’s only the viewers that will care.

Most of these points probably won’t make sense to you if you haven’t watched the film, don’t worry; they won’t make sense if you have watched it either. In fact almost all of them are total contradictions to what the Christian God is supposed to represent. Actually, most of what happens in the film has no religious base of any kind.

But even though most of the film is mindless and utterly confusing it is undeniably cool. Who doesn’t want to see Paul Bettany shooting countless bullets at Kevin Durand (you’ll know him when you see him) and angels as antagonists? SO if there’s nothing else to do you might as well watch it. But don’t rush to the cinema because at the end of the day – it’s average.

4 ½ Hoers (the bottom half)

James ‘ The defender of the innocent and destroyer of bad-ass black winged angels’ Brown (It’s long but it’ll catch on)

WE REALLY LIKE TO PARTY!!!!

Episode two! Muchachos!
UCT Film Society presents "The Lost Tales of Bergie Gonzales" The Mexican Film Festival
on the 5th of March.

Lots of Free Beer, lots of Free Nachos, lots of Free Free
Ay Karumba -Good I'm such an insensitive culturally unaware prick!- its' going to mucho Fun and Mucho Steroids will be on Offer.

Come one Come All!
Prende Me!

Unfortunately, I did hear about the Morgan’s........

Title: Did you hear about the Morgans?
Dir: Marc Lawrence
Writer: Marc Lawrence
Cast: Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker

As this movie began its epic journey into nothingness I quickly started to wonder what I was doing, wasting my time watching it. However catchy a title, I had a sneaking suspicion this movie was bound to fail. Can you say cliché?

(Hugh Grant+ Sarah Jessica Parker) = world’s worst paired couple, seriously worse than Ass Cancer and Indian Food! Their lack of chemistry was obvious at first glance which did not help move the already slow moving plot any faster. I have to admit, however, that I did see potential in the storyline. A separated couple who have witnessed a crime and now have the murderer after them in order to cover his tracks. The Morgan’s are then sent to Wyoming, in exile, where they stay with a typical western rodeo-stereotyped American couple. Soon they manage to rekindle their relationship and fall in love again, whether it is the fact they are out in nature or simply have to put up with one another.

I did enjoy the humour, although it was few and far between at times. Grant’s British wit always seem to put a smile on my face whereas Parker was as dry as Maggie Thatcher during a Prince solo. There was no fancy cinematography to make one jump out of their seat nor was there any life altering message at the end - comforting you- by knowing that there was a point to your endurance through this film. Unfortunately, I cannot say that there were any ‘biting nail’ moments where you cry from fear or surprise nor was there any suspense maintained throughout , in order to keep you hanging on in anticipation.

To sum up, the movie was simple and predictable, and shit. I already knew what would happen from the beginning as it was similar in many ways to any other romantic movie. But these criticisms aside, if you’re looking for a light-hearted movie for you and your family and if you are not looking for any spectacular innovation matching Avatar, then this movie would be perfect for you.

I GIVE IT 4 HOERS

-By MICHAEL VIKtoria Kitley

Oscar Fuzz: An Education

Title: An Education
Director: Lone Scherfig
Cast: Emma Thompson, Alfred Molina, Peter Saarsgard and Carey Mulligan

Nick Hornby must be a paedophile; only a paedophile can understand and construct children as well as Hornby, as all they do is think about buggering children all day. Damn it Hornby creates amazing child characters! He’s good and not macaroni and cheese good, I’m talking Four seasons straight out of the oven with a side of green chilli garlic and Tabasco good. Alleluia!

An Education, ja this film gave me an education: adolescence is horrible, in fact its shit. Especially when you’re a a British female adolescent stuck in the midst an existential post-war crisis which sends you in only one direction, and you have no clue why.

Meet Jenny, the precocious academically ravenous Francophile, star of this tale whose entire world is as interesting as the overcast British suburb she lives in. then Bam! The charming yet oh so suspect David arrives in his magnificent sportcar and penchant for telling a fib or two. He is sly, she’s jailbait, together hand in hand they watch as Love rides into the room elegantly dressed in this academy award nominated period piece which allows us all to worship Shane Meadows for his unquestionable talent and the amazing “This is England”. David shows Jenny the world she’s always dreamed of the world, even if it is maybe from the confines of his best mates ultra-Travolta shag pad. Its magical, fabulous sprinkled with cigarettes, fancy cars and suspicious yet so intriguing naughty behaviour. Everything that a 17 year old girl would ever dream of. But then Lone Scherfig and Hornby pull out the trump of all “aha!” cards and everything starts to go to the dogs, racing dogs that is. Magic appears Boom! Mulligan (Jenny) plays out of her boots and goes to town and brings out the depth in her performance and illuminates the type of interiority rarely given to child-characters especially with as much as fidelity to the reality. It’s tragic but like Jenny on her penultimate Parisian virginal evening it is really pretty.

Borman and Scherfig do a stellar job in framing this touching yet incredibly coming of age unbearable piece. They exhaust the beauty yet monotony of the British countryside, and the entire film visually and unfortunately narratively is postcard ready. But it does have those dark and frighteningly familiar dark moments when you’re sure everything’s going to fall apart only for the prodigal Jenny coupled by the hilarious Doc Ok (Alfred Molina) to steal it back again.

To summate it’s a big green excellently conjugated, grainy, skinny, anti-Semitic British flick, that a yank or in this case a Dane had to have had a hand in it, there’s not a fuck or “jog on” in sight which makes it less entertaining but a lot more endearing. Take nothing away from profanity, but like Tabasco sauce it does tend to make things better.

It’s not great, in fact it just makes good, but if you’re feeling sentimental about the old country and about how things should’ve been. Watch it and you’ll thank L.Ron Hubbard every day for Russel Brand and his potty mouth and heroine addiction.

I give it 6 hoers

Borole out like a BEAN SPROUT!

Pussy Galore

The windows of Smuts Hall reverberated as the innapropriate chant of "I want some Pussy" echoed in the halls. Pussy Natural Energy, sponsor of the UCT Film Society and all round bringer of excellence, held a promotion in Smuts Hall on the 26th of January. All the freshers came in style and were immediately bombarded with a wave of awesomeness and awkwardness.

Pussy kitted us out with some of their banners and loads of free Pussy to give to Film Society members. The guys were obviously excited, the girls tentative but keen to experiment, which made for an afternoon of fun and way too much energy. With Pussy's all natural ingredients and added milk thistle to help cure hangovers the freshers were buzzing with enthusiasm and keen to get going.

Thanks to Pussy for their fantastic day in Smuts Hall, the UCT Film Society high-fives you.