I like porn, I’m not afraid to say it, it serves a purpose, its convenient and its dangerous, but not so dangerous that it might hurt anyone, it’s private, to the point, unrealistic and at times highly entertaining. It can be cathartic or meaningless, but at least it’s predictable and reliable. However I love erotica. Do you remember erotica? Flesh on flesh, choreographed against perfect lighting and just enough coo’s and aahh’s to make it tasteful.
Billy Bob mounting Halle? Neve and Rebecca creating the ultimate Ménage trios with Matt Dillon, Rebecca Romijn going all natural as an alien in Species. Pleasant, exciting and always amusing, as sex generally is, but most importantly it was necessary. Imagine the Devil’s Advocate without Charlize showing us what came out of her Ma’s Benoni? Imagine Nadia didn’t get full frontal in American Pie to help Jim give new meaning to the term premature? Basic Instinct without Sharon Stone fucking men to death? What we’d have is what you have in your toilet bowl, Kak.
Erotica’s great, it’s an intrinsic part of cinema, without it film’s flat, tired and viciously unattractive kind of like Helen ZIlle. Erotica allows us to believe in sex as something outside of the embarrassing mess we find ourselves in at 4AM after one too many tiger shots and excessive indulging in trying to break the roof in on Lola’s. Erotica helps us to remember some of the most memorable moments in films, because like anything in the movies when done right, it serves as a vital part of the film and etching it in our memories as an important part of our existence.
We’re living in the “most progressive” times in the history of the human race, civil liberties and human rights are at an all time high on the soft-cock index. You can say anything, love anyone, associate with anyone, love how you want, worship how you want and most importantly believe what you want. But as long as it doesn’t offend anyone, it’s kind of like having matches and being told you can use them however you like as long as you don’t burn anything. Mind my French but, “Fuck that!” and fuck this liberal agenda. I want to be offended, emotionally scarred, Crying Game 2 let’s do it! We have films discussing taboo’s, investigating the disenfranchised and marginalized, calling to order everything that’s wrong in the world. We’ve reached the pinnacle of liberalism in popular cinema. Holy Cow’s have been removed from our vocabulary and anything is now permissible. Except anything which might genuinely offend ala Dirk Diggler showing all 12”. It’s great we’re free, everyone’s a human being and given the respect a human being deserves. It’s all rather depressing and frankly fuckin boring, bring back political incorrectness, boobs, highly staged sex scenes and the possibility of the world staying exactly the way it is. Because that’s reality and not the “OMG I think this situation is so awkward and post-modern and yeah I’m gonnna fuckin barf if this shit continues” cinema.
PREACH!
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