I always imagined Sherlock Holmes as a not so tight-assed Private Dick who had an intense homo-erotic affair with his sidekick John Watson, wherein their supposed mystery-solving adventures were just holidays in the country side where they played Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, drank colourful cocktails and did their rendition of God Save the ‘Queen’. Guy Ritchie seems to think differently. Sherlock Holmes (2009) is an action packed blockbuster with all the attributes for you to stand up halfway and scream “America Fuck Yeah” even though it’s set in 1800 England. There’s guns, explosions, cigars, sinister foreigners and a plot to take over the world. It sounds a lot like James Bond or another day in Hillbrow, but it’s Sherlock Holmes, directed by Guy Ritchie. Ritchie uses the stock-standard formula of all “Boom Boom Boom” films but he slyly slips in aspects of his style. With Robert Downey Jr. –as Sherlock Holmes- constructing a Chernobyl-esque –shit’s fucking extra epic- interior monologue which is married to Ritchie’s amazing fight scenes which make Manny Pacquiao look pre-menopausal. But then he reverts back to the tried and tested formula and before you know it there’s this mega-douche in the form of Lord Blackwood –Mark Strong- trying to take over the world. He uses black magic, but that being said gives way away too much and well you probably know what happens from there, so I won’t continue ruining it. Oh and Jude Law’s also in the film and being Jude Law all his outfits seem like they’re cut straight of Vogue Homme Winter/Autumn 2010/2011 review. But Blah fuck it, it’s pretty and it’s loud and on top of that you get to see Downey Jr. dive out of Buckingham Palace into the Thames and come out with Pneumonia and the clap! Can you say bring on the invention prophylactic!?
Watch it if you like things exploding, women almost getting naked and the prospect of the devil not wearing Prada but Paul Smith.
BOROLE OUT!
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